Youth Parliament – Lok Sabha: Day 1 LIVEBlog!
The LIVEBlog for Leaders of Tomorrow’s Youth Parliament is now live! Stay tuned.
Hey there! Welcome to The Post’s official LiveBlog of the Lok Sabha at LoT’s Youth Parliament. And we’re good to go. Blogging with me today is Mukund Poddar.
And now we have a proposition about the Land Requisition and Rehabilitation Bill here on stage.
The chairs have just taken the bill into consideration. Speech by the Prime Minister up next.
Aw Snap! The Prime Minister just gets shut up by the chair. Opening speech only for 60 seconds, chaps.
The nerves are tense here with stutters galore. Flashy tags, dapper formals, and laptop decals, with one very particular Game of Thrones decal on the press team.
Do Bigha Zameen 2015.
The real Slim Shady please raise your placard.
Rahul Bansal on the floor, speaking regarding housing. No innuendos there.
Hey! Mukund’s here.
Hey to you too! Technical difficulties finally sorted.
The chair asks speakers to not use personal pronouns. All those in favour, don’t say “I”.
Roti. Kapda. Makaan. Winning elections since 1950.
“Land Acquisition bill will reduce the agricultural land is India”. Food for thought?
A Youth Parliament is definitely a good starting point to get over stage fright. Kudos to LoT for the event!
First reading of the bill is over. We hope the “Second Reading” is not taken as literally as some of the members took the first. Ditching the paper=dropping the mic.
Ah. Land is being discussed and finally someone is taking digs at another.
The speaker explaining the use of Point-of-Orders. “Quote XYZ, and then say it should be ABC”. Starting at the basics again.
Capitalism. Was waiting for that namedrop.
The chairs are banging the table. Totally not weird.
Member of Parliament from New Delhi now speaking. Unfortunately, we may now need to censor quotes.
Impedance to the Land Acquisition Bill would prevent the setting up of secret military bases. Give the member 51 points already.
Attention. We cannot find the Minister of External Affairs.
Leader of Opposition. Throwing mud on the government’s Land bill.
Statistics now make their way into the room.
A great person once said, “There are three types of lies: lies, white lies, and statistics”.
Okay so a speaker actually had to look at his tag to know his designation. What’s in a nametag?
I’ve never seen the word “Honorable Minister” spoken with such a scowl.
The Prime Minister uses Kutch, Gujarat as an example for development. The apple does not fall far from the tree.
Deputy Leader of Opposition Karishma Agarwal speaking at 450 words/minute. Busta Rhymes got some competition.
Debrup Dutta silently texting near me. Totally not scary.
The Finance Minister Shaurya Lala sets a new bar by being the first to take the stage. He also manages to make sense while at it.
“India is following Land Acquisition Bill 2013, not 1894.” *kicks time machine*
Finance Minister taking center stage.
“Many farmer people are planning some jobs.” Well, okay.
Table banging drowns out the next speaker. Phew.
Minister’s use of farmer “people” gets mocked by the opposition and he doesn’t get it. The air quotes went over his head.
70% of all statistics are false.
“We are laying the land for a discussion on agriculture”. A single line description of all that has happened in the last hour.
“The GDP is just a number.” Opposition Finance Minister.
“Do we kill people to make our GDP go up?”. Dan Brown is doing a little jig right now on finding out at least one person referenced ‘Inferno’ in the Indian Parliament.
The number of attacks on the bill was so high, the “Government Defence Minister” had to be called upon.
Members of the house seeing their friends bang the desk and deciding that they must too. Don’t ask why.
Anyone using land acquisition rules to stall the setting up of garment industries definitely has “vested” interests.
“Wait wait wait. Don’t, don’t raise your placard.”
And by the way. Mukund has been my partner in school, partner in tuition, and general heterosexual and separately inclined friend.
The members are so tired of speaking that we seem to be typing faster than they can express.
Is this a good place to reveal to Amit Shah how no one stays so close all the time if he’s platonic?
“Please start talking about the bill and its clauses.” The chair, bringing speakers back on track.
It is extremely unfortunate when people start dropping middle syllables in words, especially when saying ‘current’ in the parliament.
That focus. And panda decal!
While people in villages are starving to death, the ministers are busy eating words.
A general “Howdy” to the 2000 odd people tuned in right now!
These guys would never starve, as long as they have their foot attached to them.
The chairs and photographers seem to be the only ones seeing the bigger picture.
“Development, but at what cost?” The opposition is changing gears from “What development?”
“Are we reaching such a state when “Industry” and “Development” are bad words?”
“China’s economy is going down. So is Russia’s. Brazil is combating corruption. India is the only country where people see hope.”
http://www.lmgtfy.com (Let me google that for you)
“Can we please have a speaker from the opposition just for variety?” The Finance Minister for you, people.
“Children are dying of malnutrition. India is here and China is way over there. We need to bridge that gap.”
“Just for variety” is literally what happened. After a 30-second question from the opposition, the ball is back in the government’s court.
“What is your point?” seems to be the catch-phrase trending today. Whatever happened to asking for the number?
Time’s running short and only one brief question per speaker is allowed.
“Don’t raise your placard, raise your standards.” Theme of the evening.
Multi-crop, mono-crop, and standing crop: the opposition Minister of Agriculture sure knows her topic.
Everybody in Parliament regrets having slept in EVS class.
The major debate seems to revolve around agriculture in India and rural infrastructure. One would assume that the Opposition Minister of Rural Development has some thoughts on the matter, but he seems to be a man of few words.
Chair asks her to speak as she hasn’t spoken the entire evening. She nods.
A lot of hurt people in the house right now. The Government Whip is apparently very good at verbal lashings.
Table bang contest is too hot, hot damn.
Arbgvuir, bvruiabv uilbvb uifanf.
trying to keep up with the Deputy Leader of Opposition’s speech failing miserably
Roti, Kapda, Makaan. Namedrop, namedrop, namedrop.
“The Opposition wants farmers to always remain farmers.” Their name is Mudd.
Can someone please ask the Deputy PM since when is farmers remaining farmers something bad for the economy?
“The government seems to expect rape victims to cook for them. Of the people, for the people, by the people? I highly doubt that.”
The Godwin’s law in an Indian context would probably state “As a discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving the Delhi Rape Case approaches 1″.
Last speech for today’s session being given by the Prime Minister.
Everyone we were supposed to meet now, hold yourself together. Five minutes more.
Opposition talking merrily throughout the PM’s speech.
Now the chair looks for a motion to adjourn session.
The Prime Minister is done. All conversations will now move from the group to overnight PMs (personal messages).
And ADJOURNED! Thanks for hanging on, folks. Now the chair speaks his mind on the quality of debate today.
Chair to Finance Minister: You had a lot of points, mostly amendments. But, you gave that to me in chits. That should be your amendment for tomorrow.
The chair owning the speakers.
“Tomorrow report at 8:30am. You’ve paid, so we expect you to come. So don’t get wasted tonight.”
“Don’t get wasted tonight”. Final message from the chair, to MIT in general.
Adios, guys. Thanks for sticking around for the first session. Shah, out.
That was a fine day of debating and discussing. It was a lot of fun talking to you guys, and we hope the puns weren’t too cringe-worthy. See you again tomorrow, and till then “Don’t get wasted”!
Breaking news: The loudest cheer during the feedback session: “Will there be refreshments tomorrow?”
Lok Sabha: asking the most pertinent questions since 1950.
Over and out for real now people.
*insert overly-attached girlfriend meme*
Hey, we love you, comprende?
The members are so tired of speaking that we seem to be typing faster than they can deliver.
Not that someone really expects MPs to deliver.